Championship - Early Results

As always, these are unofficial until further notice

Pride of the Weinkes
Derek Anderson: 10
Marshawn Lynch: 0
Shonn Greene: 6
Andre Caldwell: 19
David Anderson: 21
Randy McMichael: 18
Stephen Gostkowski: 0
Rams D: 14
Total: 88
vs.
Sarah Palin's Tits
Jay Cutler: TBD
Darren McFadden: 12
Matt Forte: TBD
Torry Holt: 17
Jabar Gaffney: -5
Donnie Avery: 17
Connor Barth: 0
Bills D: 16
Total: 57

Playoff Recap

Week 15 Positional Results

Season Totals

Pride of the Weinkes vs. Sarah Palin's Tits for the 'ship

Unofficial Playoff Round 1 Results:

#1 Magnum P.I.
Brady Quinn: 26
Jerome Harrison: -10
Maurice Morris: -10
Moose Muhammad: 17
Chansi Stuckey: 13
Josh Morgan: 5
Josh Brown: 0
Lions D: 4
Total: 45
vs.
#4 Sarah Palin's Tits
Jay Cutler: 40
Darren McFadden: 22
Matt Forte: 43
Torry Holt: 16
Jabar Gaffney: 21
Donnie Avery: 18
Connor Barth: 8
Bills D: 7
Total: One hundred seventy-fucking-five

#2 Pride of the Weinkes
Daunte Culpepper: 22
Marshawn Lynch: 29
Chester Taylor: 0
Andre Caldwell: 23
David Anderson: 14
Randy McMichael: 14
Stephen Gostkowski: 0
Rams D: 4
Total: 106
vs.
#3 Kobe Vujacic
Chaz Frye: 18
Fred Jackson: 1
Marcus Mason: TBD
Terrell Owens: 20
Greg Camarillo: 13
Bobby Wade: 0
Mason Crosby: 8
Cowboys D: 3
Total: 63

Final Season Standings/Playoff Matchups

Home-field for Magnum P.I. and Pride of the Weinkes. Although this is bizarro, so I guess that means they actually play on the road. That, or the fans at their home stadium are brutal to their own team but extremely supportive of the other.

Playoffs!

Week 14 Wrap-Up

Week 14 Positional Results (HTML)


Season Totals (HTML)

Week 14 Unofficial Scores

Cedric Benson All-Stars
Josh Freeman: 51
Justin Fargas: 31
Mewelde Moore: 0
Brain Hartline: 16
Jason Avant: 0
Marcedes Lewis: 15
Jeff Reed: 0
Dolphins D: 5
Total: 118
vs.
Pride of the Weinkes
Daunte Culpepper: 37
Marshawn Lynch: 2
Chester Taylor: 20
Andre Caldwell: 19
David Anderson: 15
Randy McMichael: 5
Neil Rackers: TBD
Raiders D: 15
Total: 113

Kobe Vujacic

Ryan Fitzpatrick: 26
Willie Parker: 0
Rock Cartwright: 0
Terrell Owens: 5
Greg Camarillo: 0
Bobby Wade: 18
Mason Crosby: 4
Redskins D: 5
Total: 58
vs.
Team Poopypants Haas
Kyle Boller: 0
Lendale White: 0
Cadillac Williams: 35
Davone Bess: 27
Earl Bennett: 21
Darrius Heyward-Bey: 0
Matt Prater: 4
Falcons D: 13
Carolina D Suspension Bonus: 3
Total: 103

Sarah Palin's Tits
Chris Redman: 5
Kevin Smith: 14
Darren McFadden: -3
Torry Holt: 9
Jabar Gaffney: 13
Mohammad Massoqui: 13
Connor Barth: 0
Bucs D: 11
Total: 62
vs.
The Sex Boats

Matt Moore: 8
Michael W. Bush: 0
Derrick Ward: 33
Brian Finneran: 17
Deion Branch: 14
Daniel Graham: 19
Lawrence Tynes: 0
Browns D: 3
Total: 94

Swollen Bean Bags
Brett Favre: 15
Ricky Williams: 25
Rashard Mendenhall: 20
Devin Hester: 0
Rashied Davis: 21
Bobby Engram: 0
Shaun Suisham: 0
Chiefs D: 2
Total: 83
vs.
Magnum P.I.
Brady Quinn: 13
Chris Jennings: 7
Jerome Harrison: 33
Dennis Northcutt: 16
Moose Muhammad: 19
Josh Morgan: TBA
Josh Brown: 0
Lions D: 24
Total: 112

It looks like the playoffs will be #1 Magnum P.I. vs #4 Sarah Palin's Tits, and #2 Pride of the Weinkes vs. #3 Kobe Vujacic.

Week 13 Standings

Week 13 Recap

Positional Results (HTML)

Season totals (HTML)

Week 13 Unofficial Scores

Sarah Palin's Tits
Chris Redman: 29
Kevin Smith: -9
Run DMC: 31
Torry Holt: 17
Jabar Gaffney: 0
Mohammed Massoquoi: 3
Connor Barth: 12
Bucs D: 4
Total: 87
vs.
Swollen Bean Bags
Brett Favre: 18
Ricky Williams: 11
Rashard Mendenhall: -9
Devin Hester: 20
Rashied Davis: 0
Bobby Engram: 0
Shaun Suisham: 12
Chiefs D: 16
Total: 68

The Sex Boats
Matt Moore: 18
Michael W. Bush: 0
Derrick Ward: 24
Deion Branch: 5
Sammie Stroughter: 19
Daniel Graham: 5
Lawrence Tynes: 0
Browns D: 15
Total: 86
vs.
Team Poopypants Haas
Kyle Boller: 26
Lendale White: 0
Cadillac Williams: 1
Davone Bess: 4
Earl Bennett:16
Darrius Heyward-Bey: 0
Matt Prater: 0
Falcons D: 17
Total: 64

Magnum P.I.
Brady Quinn: 5
Chris Jennings: 28
Jerome Harrison: -10
Mike Furrey: 0
Moose Muhammad: 15
Josh Morgan: 5
Josh Brown: 0
Lions D: 6
Total: 49
vs.
Cedric Benson All-Stars
Mark Sanchize: 18
Justin Fargas: 16
Mewelde Moore: 0
Brian Hartline: 3
Jason Avant: 16
Marcedes Lewis: 10
John Carney: 0
Dolphins D: 7
Total: 70


Kobe Vujacic
Bruce Gradkowski: 1
Willie Parker: 0
Rock Cartwright: 20
Terrell Owens: 16
Greg Camarillo: 11
Bobby Wade: 18
Mason Crosby: TBD
Redskins D: 15
Total: 81
vs.
Pride of the Weinkes
Matthew Stafford: 28
Marshawn Lynch: 6
Chester Taylor: 24
Andre Caldwell: 0
David Anderson: 18
Randy McMichael: 18
Neil Rackers: 0
Raiders D: 10
Total: 104

Playoff implications if these scores hold:
Magnum P.I. would still hold the #1 spot at 9-4. The remaining 3 playoff spots are occupied by Kobe Vujacic, Pride of the Weinkes, and Sarah Palin's Tits all at 8-5. They are ranked that order by Total Points scored, with less than 15 points separating Vujacic and Weinkes. The Cedric Benson All-Stars are technically still alive, but not really. They would need to win the final week, have Sarah Palin's Tits lose, AND outscore SPTs by over 125 points. This is the least difficult scenario for them to make the playoffs.

It's also worth noting that while Magnum P.I. leads in the W-L column, if these scores hold they will go into the final weekend of the regular season with only the third most points in the league. Magnum P.I. needs win next week against Swollen Bean Bags to clinch the #1 spot for the playoffs Regardless, Magnum P.I. has a 99.99% chance of clinching the #1 spot next week because he is playing Colin.

In conclusion, the 4 playoff teams are all but set. Sarah Palin's Tits is almost certainly locked in at #4. The top 3 spots could still go to any of the top 3 teams.

Let the league-wide plea for Colin to update his roster for the first and only time this season begin!

Week 12 Standings

Week 12 Recap

Week 12 Positional Results (HTML)

Season Totals (HTML)