Current Standings

Week 7 Recap

Full Positional Results (HTML)

Season Totals (HTML)

Unofficial Scores, Chris Berman Edition

This is how bored I am right now.

Sarah Palin's Tits
Jake "Daylight Come and Me Want" Delhomme: 28
"Scary" Larry Johnson: 25
Matt "Not So Fantastic" Forte: 24
"Take a" Chansi "On Me" Stuckey: 0
Donnie Avery: 11
Mohamed Massaquoi: 14
Shane Andrus: 0
Rams D: 21
Total: 123
vs.
The Sex Boats
Shaun "One Tree" Hill: 15
Tim "All Along The" Hightower: 29
Michael W. Bush: 27
Brian "Simmerin'" Finneran: 17
"Slammin'" Sammie Stroughter: 10
"Bad" Mark Bradley-roy Brown: 0
Lawrence Tynes: 0
Browns D: 16
Total: 114


Magnum P.I.
Josh Johnson: 36
Jerome "George" Harrison: 28
Ladell "Place Your" Betts: TBD
Mike "I Have Sex With People In An Animal Costume Because I'm A" Furrey: 21
Keenan "n Kel" Burton: 19
Louis Murphy-Brown: 14
Shayne Graham-Cracker: 0
Bills D: -3
Total: 115
vs.
Swollen Bean Bags (Now Featuring Rashard Mendenhall!)
Brett "I Just Creamed My Pants" Favre: 24
Ricky "Don't Lose That Number" Williams: -10
Rashard "Safety Dance" Men-At-Work-denhall: 24
"Seventh" Devin Hester: 11
Guaran-shied Davis: 0
Bobby Engram: 0
Shaun Suisham: TBA
Chiefs D: 19
Total: 68


Kobe Vujacic
Jamarcus "Aurelius" Russell: 35
Jamal Lewis: 25
"Wet" Willie Parker: 0
Terrell Owens: 19
Greg Camarillo-Slim: 10
Bobby Wade: 11
Mason "Sidney" Crosby: 2
Redskins D: TBD
Total: 102
vs.
Team Poopypants
Marq "Battle of the" Bulger: 31
Orange Julius Jones: 0
LenDale White: 0
Jordy Nelson Muntz, Haw-Haw!: 0
Davone Knows Bess : 28
Darrius Heyward-Bey: 17
Matt Prater: 0
Jaguars D: 0
Total: 76
(I would also like to thank Kevin for setting a new record in "How many players can I accidentally play on a bye week?" I dare anyone to top 4.)


Pride of the Weinkes
Derek Anderson: 40
Marshawn "Merrill" Lynch: 21
Chester Taylor: 0
Andre Caldwell: 20
Legedu "Noonan" Naanee: 0
O'Randy McMichael: 19
Neil Rackers: 0
Dolphins D: 15
Total: 115
vs.
Cedric Benson Matt Forte All-Stars
Jason Campbell Soup: TBD
Justin Fargas: 7
Mewelde "Gimme Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Gimme" Moore: 0
Antwaan Randle El Capitan: TBD
Jason Avant: TBD
Brian "Don't Break My" Hartline: 4
Sebastian Janikowski: 0
Raiders D: 19
Total: 30

Week 6 Standings

Week 6 Recap

Full Week 6 Positional Results (HTML)

Season Totals (HTML)

Unofficial Week 6 Scores

As of Monday Morning:

SWOLLEN BEAN BAGS
Brett Favre: -4
Ricky Williams: 0
Fred Taylor: 0
Devin Hester: 7
Bobby Engram: 0
Shaun Suisham: 0
Chiefs D: -1
Total: 2 (Colin, it might be time to adjust your roster)

vs.

SARAH PALIN'S TITS
Jake Delhomme: 24
Kevin Smith: 16
Larry Johnson: 11
Chansi Stuckey: 0
Donnie Avery: 1
Justin Gage: 0
Shane Andrus: 4
Rams D: -2.5
Total: 53.5

TEAM POOPYPANTS
Marq Bulger: 11
Julius Jones: 0
Lendale White: 43
Jordy Nelson: 10
Davone Bess: 0
Darrius Heyward-Bey: 0
Matt Prater: TBD
Jags D: 8
Total: 72

vs.

THE SEX BOATS
Trent Edwards: 0
Tim Hightower: 15
Michael Bush: 29
Brian Finneran: 21
Sammie Stroughter: 0
Daniel Graham: TBD
Olindo Mare: 0
Browns D: -2.5
Total: 62.5

CEDRIC BENSON ALL-STARS
Jason Campbell: 20
Justin Fargas: 8
Mewelde Moore: 0
Antwaan Randle El: 25
Jason Avant: 0
Marcedes Lewis: 19
Sebastian Janikowski: 0
Raiders D: 4.5
Total: 76.5

vs.

MAGNUM P.I.
Josh Johnson: 64
Jason Snelling: 0
Jerome Harrison: 0
Mike Furrey: 0
Keenan Burton: 14
Louis Murphy: 0
Jason Elam: 0
Lions D: 9
Total: 87

PRIDE OF THE WEINKES
Derek Anderson: 36
Marshawn Lynch: 19
Leon Washington: -4
Andre Caldwell: 12
Legedu Naanee: TBD
Randy McMichael: 14
Josh Scobee: 2
Bills D: -5.5
Total: 73.5

vs.

KOBE VUJACIC
Jamarcus Russell: 21
Jamal Lewis: 29
Edgerrin James: 0
Michael Clayton: 21
Terrell Owens: 20
Bobby Wade: 27
Mason Crosby: 0
Titans D: 29.5
Total: 147.5

Week 5 Standings

Week 5 Recaps

Full Week 5 Results by Position (HTML)

Season Totals (HTML)

Have the floodgates opened?

Just a few days after Wilfred "Will" Billingsley (Wilfred? Is he a butler? I'd go by Will too.) was arrested for a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, it's been reported that Cedric Griffin of the Vikings was arrested back in August and has now pleaded guilty to drunken driving charges. While no current team owned the Vikings' defense in the league at the time of this story, Pride of the Weinkes will enjoy a 5 point bonus in the upcoming week for the Billingsley altercation: Spousal/Girlfriend/Baby Momma Abuse with a Resisting Arrest bonus.

It took five weeks but we have our first Arrest/Suspension bonus of the season! Maybe this will get the ball rolling. Of course, I'm not condoning NFL players to go out and break the law for my own personal enjoyment, but if Randy McMichael gets arrested this weekend for running a dog-fighting ring at a Waffle House, I'd probably be a little ok with it.

Week 4 Standings

Season Totals

As of Week 4:

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Week 4 Scoreboard

Unofficial Week 4 Scores

As of Monday morning:

Cedric Benson All-Stars
Seneca Wallace: 21
Earnest Graham: 33
Mewelde Moore: 0
Brian Hartline: 5
Antwaan Randle El: 0
Marcedes Lewis: 1
Sebastian Janikowski: 0
Raiders D: 10.5
Total: 70.5
vs.
Sarah Palin's Tits
Kyle Boller: 36.75
Kevin Smith: 7
Larry Johnson: 35
Donnie Avery: 13
T.J. Housmadlafjafdeh: -1
Justin Gage: 18
Mike Nugent: 8
Rams D: 17.5
Total: 133.5

Pride of the Weinkes
Matthew Stafford: 25
Joe Addai: -4
Marshawn Lynch: 25
Legedu Naanee: 20
Joey Galloway: 0
Andre Caldwell: 25
Josh Scobee: 2
Dolphins D: -10
Total: 83
vs.
Team Poopypants
Marq Bulger: 0
Julius Jones: 29
Lendale White: 0
Jordy Nelson: TBD
Davone Bess: 20
Darrius Heyward Bey: 16
Matt Prater: 0
Jags D: 2.5
Total: 67.5

Kobe Vujacic
Jamarcus Russell: 23.25
Edge James: 0
Maurice Morris: 0
Michael Clayton: 0
Greg Camarillo: 15
Isaac Bruce: 20
Adam Vinatieri: 0
Seahawks D: 15
Total: 73.25
vs.
Swollen Bean Bags
Brett Favre: TBD
Ricky Williams: 4
Fred Taylor: 26
Devin Hester: 21
Rashied Davis: 20
Bobby Engram: 17
Shaun Suisham: 20
Chiefs D: 9.5
Total: 117.5

Magnum P.I.
Josh Johnson: 20.25
Jerome Harrison: 5
Lynell Hamilton: 0
Mike Furrey: 18
Dennis Northcutt: 21
Louis Murphy: 16
Jason Hanson: 0
Lions D: 24
Total: 104
vs.
The Sex Boats
Chad Henne: 36
Le'Ron McClain: 0
Michael Bush: 10
Deion Branch: 13
Sammie Stroughter: 21
Daniel Graham: 14
Olindo Mare: 0
Browns D: 7.5
Total: 101.5

Season Totals Through Week 3

To no ones surprise, Jake Delhomme still leads all Bizarro scorers. Darren McFadden has made huge strides after his epic fail in Week 3.

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