It appears that Donavan McNabb will not be able to play this week against the New Orleans Saints. So who do the Eagles choose to start in his place?
Convicted Dog Fighter? Out- Rabies
Possibly Gay, Bald, Aging QB? Out- Too busy taking Viagra so he can hit this. (BTW Fuck Jeff Garcia)
Unproven 3rd Year Player? Bingo
Kevin Kolb has apparently gotten the nod to start against the porous New Orleans defense. Normally playing any bizarro QB against the Saints is a horrible idea, however Kolb has a ton of potential.
For starters the guy has barely played. Last season he was the 3rd stringer, this year he was hurt for a majority of training camp, now he’s the starter? Please. Behold what ESPN considers his most notable professional appearance:
“Kolb has appeared in eight games in his career, including last week against Carolina. His most notable appearance came in 2008 against Baltimore, when McNabb was benched at halftime of a 10-7 game. The Ravens went on to win 36-7, with Kolb completing 10 of 23 passes for 73 yards with two interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown.”
30.5 Bizarro points in a single half, very impressive indeed.
Another point: There is no way in hell Kolb plays again after this week. If you are Kevin Kolb you have to know this is your shot for the season. The team has every conceivable type of QB ahead of him on the depth chart: Franchise QB, Experienced Leader QB, Wildcat QB. Where the hell does Kolb fit into that?
Combined this with the fact that the Eagles are expecting their unproven quarterback to out duel the most prolific offense in the NFL you got the makings of a HUGE bizarro game.
My humble prediction:
13/30 174 Yds 1 TD 3 INT 3 Sacks
34.5 Bizarro Points
I remember that 2008 game well. Kolb actually took the Eagles down the field in the 3rd quarter, and they lined up with a first and goal on the Ravens' one yard line.
ReplyDeleteFirst try: Kolb stuffed on the sneak.
Second try: The Eagles roll Kolb out on the bootleg for some reason, and he throws it right into Ed Reed's hands, who of course houses it 108 yards.
This game overall may have to be revisited in Great Games in Bizarro History, as I would heavily bet Mcnabb and Kolb combined went over 50.